Roseanne Addiction
Roseanne: That is not funny! You're grounded until menopause!
Darlene: Yours or mine?
Roseanne: Your father's!
Roseanne: Okay, your plan was better than mine. You happy?
Dan: Why, if I were any happier, I'd need a book. ;)

tripstothetrashcan:

Aw man, I forgot about this episode. Lol.

Roseanne!
Becky: I was at the mall, okay? I got off the bus, walked directly into Rodbell's, where I met Diane and Sammi. We three stood near the entrance to the theaters, goofed on some mall cop named Reynaldo, split some fries, and came home. Is that specific enough?
Dan: Who paid for the fries...?

People are already calling her “Conner the bomber”

Lol, I love this episode :)

roseanneconfessions:

Dear Santa,

Are any of your reindeer gay? Our grandma is.

Love,

Andy & Jerry.

tripstothetrashcan:

I love this scene :D

Roseanne (confronting anti-abortion group):Hey ho, hey ho, life begins when we say so!

Roseanne (to bald man): I can see why you’re so committed to the cause - you look like a fetus!

Roseanne (to anti-abortion protester holding a child) Hey, you just stuck your kid in the eye with your save the children sign!

Roseanne: (sarcastically): Let’s go, let’s go, and afterwards we got a big pro-capital punishment rally we can go to!

Jackie: Roseanne, you may not agree with them, but how can you send them on a wild goose chase?

Roseanne: I didn’t! I sent them to Mom’s

Roseanne’s rules for going to bed

-lifeisnotamonster:

  1. no talking
  2. no giggling or laughing
  3. no playing music
  4. no singing
  5. no animal noises
  6. no doing whatever the hell you were doing when you were making that peg-leg kinda thumping noise
  7. no bird calls
  8. no bouncing the ball
  9. no jumping on the bed